Please don’t break my back

Today I did something I always said I would never do: I went to a chiropractor. My midwife has been suggesting it as my hip has been all sorts of painful; however, chiropractors seem like witch doctors to me. Witch doctors who crack your back and jerk you around. Well, I went in because honestly limping is getting old. In the lobby was a skeleton with a yellow wig. That alone should have told me to run. But I waited and went back where I met a chiropractor who reminded me of a taller version of a leprechaun. He did not talk much, but seemed normal– no pot of gold hiding in the room. I warned him I was terrified. I warned him multiple times. He informed me my hip was so jammed up that it was causing my right leg to be shorter than my left! No wonder I’ve been walking around in circles… sorry bad joke. We adjusted my hips– which was mostly him jerking my my leg. My jammed up hip refused to align and he informed me I needed more sessions… suspicious. He then was all “While you’re here let me adjust your mid back and neck.” I nervously allowed the mid back to be adjusted– again this just felt like yanking me around with some popping. As soon as he went to touch my neck I started trying to convince him my neck was fine. “No, no I’m good. My neck already does this crunchy sound sometimes probably best not to annoy it. I am seriously freaking out right now.” But he continued with the occasional “Ma’am you need to relax.”  HA! Relax he says. He somehow managed to make my neck pop which resulted in my audibly gasping. After that he helped me up because this girl can’t sit up without assistance and told me to come back on Friday. Mind you I was FREAKING out. I felt all freaked out and shaky. He was trying to get me to get my stuff and go to the receptionist, but I just wanted to sit there and continue losing my cool. I did manage to leave, I even made crazy small talk with the receptionist– “Yeah yeah I’m 37 weeks pregnant, but chiropractors are freaky right?! Like come on!!”.  Needless to say this B isn’t planning to go back on Friday for another hip jerking visit.

ALSO, within an hour of leaving my hips stabbing pain came back as I was walking through a parking lot in the rain… So I slow limped and got drenched.

Later on,

Creaky Momma

STRETCHED

I am 36 weeks pregnant (and some days). Up until last night my skin has been fine. Itchy and kind of veiny looking, but still fine. However, I looked in the mirror last night and there at the front of my stomach were these pink lines! When I first got pregnant I fully expected stretch marks. I am a realist. People get stretch marks. But as the weeks wore on and my skin stretched without leaving marks, I thought I was one of the lucky ones. I thought this belly would look weird and veiny and translucent, but not pink lined! So there I stood staring at my belly in near tears at the marks. And THEN today at my midwife appointment she mentioned the marks, “Wow your skin is really stretching right here.” It took everything in me not to call her a big meanie and cry.

I know the marks are worth it. I know that the baby is the prize and the marks are just a fact of life. But it is hard to talk myself in to self acceptance. It is hard to love my body sometimes. I think at some point we all struggle with looking in the mirror and loving what we see. I am trying so desperately to love what I see. To see the marks as tiger stripes or something empowering and not as something that makes me less pretty. I know , I know that all sounds vain. But, I want to be pretty!! I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror. I am more than skin deep, I am more than my physical look, but I can still want to look pretty, right?!

I’ll keep you updated on my stripes!

Talk soon

Warrior Princess… or something like that